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Surrey's latest traffic car.

I got a tug last weekend. A police incident car followed me for several miles then eventually pulled me over with a quite unnecessary surfeit of blues and twos.

At the time I was driving ‘Old Bill’, my 1947 MG TC police car, which was once a proud upholder of the Road Traffic Act in distant Yorkshire and still decked out in its original livery. That is to say, it has a sort of number plate on t’back reading ‘Police’.

The young constable was eager to demonstrate that I was committing the offence, as he put it, of “…impersonating a police car.” Quite right: you could easily be fooled by the fabric roof and wire wheels.

Then he noticed that, according to the car’s road-fund licence, the fee paid was zero. This struck him as mysterious and possibly the source of another offence. And when his PNC check revealed the elderly MG to be an ‘Historic Vehicle’ he seemed unaware of such a taxation class.

Suspecting a ruse, he used his mobile ‘phone to engage the services of a traffic inspector, by way of a consultant. The conversation was fairly short, and as far as I could gather, quite pointed. A number of “Sirs” were appended at our end.

We left shortly after that, and on the way home I booked a couple of Beema drivers for speeding.