I’ve just opened the post and found a speeding ticket, which worries me a bit. Not because of the £60 but because I can’t remember being there at the time.
The offence took place in Luton, so I must have been drunk – I certainly wouldn’t go there when I’m sober. I feel like one of those suspects in a TV cop show: “Where were you at 12 noon on December 17th, 2007?” How should I know? I’m not even sure where I am at the moment.
The car in question was the Vauxhall VXR8, so 63 mph in a 40 limit seems quite restrained. I must have been dozing off. Apparently I was caught in a mobile trap: some gap-year woodentop hiding behind a tree with a VASCAR gun.
Wait a minute. The Vauxhall wasn’t delivered to me until four o’clock: they know not to come too early. So I’m in the clear: someone else was driving it., and I know who it was.
That means I can finger the real culprit: nail him bang to rights. And if I turn grass perhaps they will provide me with a safe house: I could do with something bigger than my flat. But not a house in Luton, I hope: I’d rather pay the fine.
Please don’t shop me to the rozzers guv’. It was an honest mistake. The car comes from down under so I fink the dials must ‘ave been fitted upside down or sumfing.
Gerry Pollard | 20 Mar 08 - 0:15Serves you right for driving a Vauxhall!
Fair cop though…. It was at one time fashionable to knock Neasden, but now it just happens to be Luton, and you really should have taken avoidance action in order to have escaped your current dilemma !!
AlfaMartini | 21 Mar 08 - 17:01