BBC presenter Fiona Bruce was among guests at the GQbyCitroen launch evening

Don’t the good people at Citroen ever sleep? Less than 48 hours after the hectic Geneva Motor Show press day, they unveil another new car in Central London. Called the GQbyCitroen, it’s the “fantasy motor” of men’s magazine GQ, realised by Citroen.

Following the DS High Rider and surprise reveal at Geneva of the Survolt, my weary brain was half expecting a tarted up DS3 with GQ decals. In actual fact it’s a unique GT with a Mark Lloyd design and Savile Row interior. 

Hosted by GQ, the launch party had a faintly eclectic guestlist. The deadpan comic Alexei Sayle, rock star supreme Nick Mason, the gorgeous Fiona Bruce… Midway through explaining to my missus why the GQbyCitroen’s wing mirrors were too small for a production car, she noticed David Ginola nearby. The charming French football legend quickly reduced her to a swooning mess. I’ll, er, finish explaining pedestrian-friendly crumple zones… later…

The point of the GQbyCitroen? As a company rep put it, the problem is thus: in France, around one in every six cars sold is a Citroen. In the UK, it’s closer to one in 20. The plan is to become an ‘aspirational’ brand, hence the tie-in with a stylish magazine. They want cars that will make people swoon, to fall in love with Citroen.

I already love where Citroen is going. Just so long as they don’t reveal any more new cars before Monday. Some of us need to get some sleep.

You have to admit, the Hummer is different...

So it’s goodbye to Hummer then. The proposed purchase by a Chinese conglomerate fell through, meaning GM will now shutter the brand.

Unusually, feelings expressed via the internet automotive blogosphere seem fairly universal on this: good riddance. Some forums, where typically almost nothing is agreed on, have that collective feeling of a public tragedy: where were you when the beast finally died?

Well, I for one will miss Hummer.

The gas-guzzler with military pretensions had ‘conspicuous consumption’ hard-wired into it from the drawing board. As such, it was the environmentalist’s ideal whipping boy. What’s more, ask the man in the street for his thoughts on a car, and chances are few would match the 90s-era Hummer for a typical opinion; “for people with more money than sense”; “something ‘bling’ that rappers drive”; “a car for gun-toters who love Arnie films”; and “a symbol of U.S. excess”.

Much of which felt like thinly veiled Anti-Americanism. Hate the Hummer if you must, but the automotive landscape is more drab for its passing.  

The jewel in the Toyota crown is the Prius – leader in hybrid terms and virtually a brand in its own right. The Prius is also complicated, and expensive to build (in Japan). In sales terms, a niche model. 

According to The SMMT’s latest batch of vehicle registration figures, Toyota’s UK market share is holding steady – a little over 5% (y-t-d). In December 2009 the company sold only a third as many cars as Ford, and fewer than half as many that drove off Vauxhall and Volkswagen forecourts.

The world’s largest car maker seems to have an image problem.

What Toyota needs to do is sell more ‘bread and butter’ cars, but how to lure the buyers? The ‘halo’ effect seems to work for Honda with the Civic Type R, but Toyota’s SR models appear ‘warm’ at best. And there are gaping holes in the line-up where the MR2, Celica and Supra once stood. 

Come on Toyota, perhaps it’s time to cash in on the UK’s love affair with ‘sporty’ cars.

The ability of car companies to dream up a good publicity stunt never ceases to amazes me. 

More memorable ones over the last few years included a Fiat 500 loaded onto the London Eye, a Chevrolet Captiva turned into a giant scratch card, and even a competition that challenged contestants to lick their way through a chocolate covered Jeep. The Jeep was the prize (along with indigestion.)

Hats off to MINI though for its latest idea, which placed faux-Cooper boxes around the streets of Amsterdam, complete with discarded ribbons and Christmas wrapping paper. The mysterious car sized boxes caught the attention of the public and quickly spread across news and social media websites. Total cost to MINI? Probably about £50.

The marketing department may live in the shadow of design and engineering, but without sales, there is no company. Whether a fan of the cars or not, you have to admit the MINI marketing machine is doing it right.

The elegant Jabra Stone headset is also exquisitely packaged

The elegant packaging of the Jabra Stone gives you the first clue that you’re in for a treat. The delights within are revealed through a series of precision-engineered twists and clicks.

It’s unlikely to win any awards for the greenest packaging but the presentation case is a thing of beauty in itself - perhaps it seemed logical to seat the Stone in a box that wouldn’t disgrace a serious ‘rock’?

And now to the content within.

The Jabra Stone headset earpiece appears to have been delicately scalloped from a solid smooth pebble (or Stone), the remainder of which forms the charging base.

Having charged the unit, pairing the Stone with my iPhone was a doddle. I didn’t even consult the instructions and was underway in no time.

The Stone sat comfortably in my ear. Its light weight meant that I soon forgot I was wearing it. Generally a good thing except for the time when I dozed off on the sofa, awaking a while later to find my baby daughter playing with it as it had fallen out during my slumber.

The ’swipe’ volume control is slick and sound quality is very good. My friend at the other end of the line didn’t even realise that I was ‘hands-free’.

Uniting the headset with its charging base restores it to its pure, almost ovoid, state.

The only minor gripe is that the plug adapter cable is on the short side. Perfect for desktop outlets but mine were fully occupied at the time.

Talktime on the headset is short compared to previous Jabra units I’ve tried at only 2 hours, but the charging base can store an additional 6 hours.

In summary, the Jabra Stone is the first bluetooth headset I’ve come across that could genuinely be described as cool.

It’s designed to be worn on your right ear only (fine for me) and retails at around £69.99.

As a child, I was regularly warned to keep away from swans, because “they can break your arm”. Friends tell me they were given the same instructions. Why, then, aren’t the riverbanks littered with less cautious children, wailing and clutching their shattered limbs? It’s a lie, isn’t it?

Having your arm broken by a swan is, I reckon, about as likely as blowing up a petrol station by talking on your mobile phone. On an average day, how many mushroom clouds of black smoke do you see in the distance, as yet another Shell station explodes? Fewer than ten, I bet.

Hollywood pretensions for the down-to-earth Astra

The sixth generation Vauxhall Astra is dealership-bound from today. I attended a premiere event at GM’s Millbrook Proving Ground last weekend to see the car for myself.

It was a chance for attendees – mainly interested members of the public - to take various Astra models for a spin. Vauxhall is emphasising improvements in quality and the cabin certainly feels a step up over the old car.

Yet despite Vauxhall’s best efforts to allude to movie glamour and motorsport, most people I spoke to seemed more convinced by the Astra’s solid engineering and build quality. As one of the nation’s workhorses, perhaps that’s as it should be.  

I was somewhat surprised to see that Citroen was promoting its new DS3 at last month’s MPH Show with the slogan ‘Anti Retro’. Clearly a reference to the car’s contemporary design in stark contrast to that of its key intended competitor - the MINI.

I find this odd on two fronts:

Firstly, Citroen is trading on a retro nameplate with DS. Granted, the car bears no resemblance to the original, but the company is happy for customers to make the positive connection with the iconic Bertoni-designed saloon from the 1950s.

Secondly, I would argue that Citroen’s latest concept car, the Revolte, unveiled at the 2009 Frankfurt Motor Show (and previewed beforehand on Facebook), showed some rather distinctly retro traits, although admittedly it stopped short of simply becoming a caricature of the 2CV.

At last year’s Geneva Show, in response to rumours and a slick ‘leaked’ digital image of just such a car, I put the question to Mark Lloyd, Citroen’s Design Chief responsible for both the DS3 and the new C3 (which share a platform incidentally), as to whether retro designs such as the MINI and the Fiat 500, were merely a cop-out - an admission that a design team couldn’t come up with anything new and appealing.

Lloyd’s response was quite resolute:

“Our job [as designers] is to create cars that people want to buy.” In principle, if the demand is there for such vehicles, then why not?

He went on to point out that the MINI, ignoring its design, was fundamentally a good car. If it were a bad car, then the design would be unlikely to save it.

So what’s the deal?

Is the Anti-Retro slogan simply part of a very targeted advertising campaign against BMW’s updated interpretation of Issigonis’ masterpiece, or are we likely to see Citroen go Pro-Retro if the public’s reaction to the Revolte is deemed to be positive?

Citroen’s official line is no to retro, but given Lloyd’s unwillingness to rule out the possibility, I’m banking on the latter.

Watch this space.

We should have asked Grandad if we could borrow his Ferrari...

Kia Motors has sent out a press release announcing a new baby in its range. “Smaller than the Picanto, the latest Kia, launched on Sunday, weighs just 6lb 7oz and comes only in pink.”

Turns out that an expectant mum went into labour rather rapidly, and gave birth in the back of Granny’s Kia Carens. The proud parents decided to name their new baby after the car… and called her Kia. So delighted was Kia (the car-maker, not the bouncing bundle) with the choice of name, that they’ve given the parents a top-of-the-range seven-seat 2.0 CRDi Carens free, gratis and for nothing.

It’s a charming story, but it does suggest two things. One, the new parents must really hate the name Karen. And two, we can brace ourselves for a flood of births in Ferraris, Porsches and Aston Martins.

MG rides again

The arrival of a revised car (eg new BMW 5 Series) always divides opinion around here. The arrival of a new car (eg Ferrari 458 Italia) even more so.

So you can imagine what it’s like when a new car from a revived nameplate pops up – in this case the MG6. Not only is the car all-new, but the brand itself is back from the dead. It looks good, and could be built here, so great news for British workers. But is it a ‘real’ MG? What is ‘real’, anyway?

Confused. Over to you…