We should have asked Grandad if we could borrow his Ferrari...

Kia Motors has sent out a press release announcing a new baby in its range. “Smaller than the Picanto, the latest Kia, launched on Sunday, weighs just 6lb 7oz and comes only in pink.”

Turns out that an expectant mum went into labour rather rapidly, and gave birth in the back of Granny’s Kia Carens. The proud parents decided to name their new baby after the car… and called her Kia. So delighted was Kia (the car-maker, not the bouncing bundle) with the choice of name, that they’ve given the parents a top-of-the-range seven-seat 2.0 CRDi Carens free, gratis and for nothing.

It’s a charming story, but it does suggest two things. One, the new parents must really hate the name Karen. And two, we can brace ourselves for a flood of births in Ferraris, Porsches and Aston Martins.

MG rides again

The arrival of a revised car (eg new BMW 5 Series) always divides opinion around here. The arrival of a new car (eg Ferrari 458 Italia) even more so.

So you can imagine what it’s like when a new car from a revived nameplate pops up – in this case the MG6. Not only is the car all-new, but the brand itself is back from the dead. It looks good, and could be built here, so great news for British workers. But is it a ‘real’ MG? What is ‘real’, anyway?

Confused. Over to you…

At the UK launch of the Fiat Bravo in the summer of 2007, I asked Steve Norman (then Marketing Director Worldwide for Fiat Group)  whether there would be an Abarth version of the C-segment hatch. Steve’s answer was a categorical no. “We are serious about tbe Abarth brand’s sporting intent. We got it wrong in the past with the likes of the Stilo Abarth. That was more about bodykits and badges than genuine performance enhancement.”

It seems that Norman was true to his word. No Bravo Abarth has broken cover to date and the 500 and Punto models are acknowledged as proper sports-bred machines.

I was reminded of our conversation when I learned of Renault’s plan to revive the Gordini brand for some of its Renaultsport models.

Steve Norman is now Senior Vice President, Global Marketing for the Renault group and I find myself wondering whether Gordini will be more about badges and bodykits or whether it will represent something truly unique. I’m hoping for the latter but we’ll know more when the Twingo Gordini breaks cover this week.

During times of recession, the public like to fall back on traditional and trusted names, so playing the nostalgia card with Gordini seems like a wise move for Renault - but only if it amounts to more than special blue paint and white stripes.

I’ll be watching closely…

Vampire Volvo, Bond BMW and Smith Shelby

#3: Volvo XC60 in ‘Twilight Saga: New Moon’

I’m outside of the target demographic for the much-hyped movie so perhaps it’s just me, but shouldn’t a young vampire be driving around in a sinister blacked out Studebaker or something? Not so - “Volvo is central to Edward’s character in the Twilight saga,” proclaimed the press release. Volvo’s crossover SUV is a fine car for sure, but all those active safety systems seem a bit unnecessary if you’re already dead?

#2: BMW Z3 in ‘Goldeneye’

James Bond films perfected the art of product placement, arguably part of their charm, but the BMW Z3’s first public airing was too blatant to leave out. The car appears on-screen as a backdrop to conversation just long enough for everyone to want one. There are neither chases nor gadgets; Joe Don Baker’s character then reverses the car off the screen and into a showroom near you.

#1: Ford Mustang GT500 in ‘I Am Legend’

New York, post-apocalypse: Will Smith is all alone and spends his days knocking golf balls into the Hudson. Under the circumstances, any performance car you fancy makes perfect sense, considering that every road in the city is deserted, bar the odd rotting corpse. What’s daft however is that despite the weeds and decay, Will’s gleaming red Shelby ‘Stang remains of concours standard throughout. Come the end of the world there may be no electricity, no agriculture, and no more civilisation… but at least cars will valet themselves.  

co\\'ol

What do the Mitsubishi i MiEV, C1 ev’ie and smart ed have in common? Other than being electric cars, I mean. Yup, it seems you can’t launch an electric car without a scattering of lower-case lettering and pointless apostrophes. Pseudo typographical errors are the new CO’ol.

One of our favoured tea stops when we are out filming is at Wisley in Surrey. The tea bar is located in a wooded area, and served by ample parking, arranged in bays.

Last week, there we were, sitting quietly at a picnic table, enjoying the autumn sunshine, when onto the grass drove a BMW X5, which stopped a few short feet from our table. I say ‘on the grass’ as distinct from ‘in one of the many empty parking bays’.

When the driver got out I politely pointed to the bays and asked if she wouldn’t mind using one of them, rather than park two tons of German mean-machine on the fragile chamomile- and clover-studded grass.

In reply, she suggested I do something physically impossible, then trounced off into the woods with her designer dog, which looked every bit as arrogant as its owner.

Incidentally, the BMW looked rather like the one in the photo I took at the time. I hope you can read the number.