What do you do when you are locked out of a press car, miles from home, and the press car contains your entire life-support system - ‘phone, wallet, specs, money, etc. etc?

I thanked my lucky stars. I thanked them that my partner was locked out with me, and in her handbag, along with the usual bottle jack, creosote (makes her look sun-tanned), Polyfilla (cheaper than Max Factor), torque wrench, and general landfill material, was a ‘phone. And with that ‘phone I called an Audi press officer (thank you J) who gave me the number of Audi/Volkswagen rescue.

No waiting. No “You are number sixteen in a queue”. No Mozart for broken-down motorists. Just the words you want to hear: “How can I help?” Ten minutes later, I got a call from a mobile technician: “I will be with you in half an hour.” And he was.

I won’t tell you how he retrieved the keys, except that the process was slick, caused no damage, and took fewer than ten minutes. In future, I shall always lock myself out of an Audi.