Charlie & Harry seem happy with the new child-seat regulations

I’ve just been testing the new V8-engined Volvo XC90, and also trying to fathom out the compexities of the revised child-seat laws.

With the help of my two grandsons I think I got it right: Charlie (on the left) is two-and-a-half and is secured in an Isofix-mounted seat kindly supplied by Volvo; Harry, on the right, and who is getting on for five, is perched on the booster seat, which is a standard XC90 fitment. My road-test report will be published in a few weeks’ time, meanwhile you can read about the new V8 engine in my S80 report.

Rev Agnew's message to Crawley Council

A resident in Crawley, Sussex, succeeded in hacking into the council computer in order to let them know what he thought about their car parking charges. The Rev. John Agnew, who later admitted to the prank, said . “I think I shall in future park in Richmond, where I believe it will cost me nothing.”

"I can park for nothing in Richmond," says delighted New Car Net reader, Sid Horrocks from Fulham.

I see that that parking charges for residents of the London Borough of Richmond on Thames will be based on their vehicle’s CO2 emission levels, which could mean rises of up to 300 per cent. This is nonsense: parked cars emit nothing in the way of CO2; they might reek of money but that’s Richmond for you. No, the people who should be charged top-dollar are those who have the temerity to visit Richmond and disturb its quaint, rural charm. Sting them, I say.

But if, like me, you resent paying to park anywhere, then there is a means of avoiding all charges in Richmond; a means of parking in any of the designated parking zones without forking out a single penny. Pretend you are a vicar, or a priest, or a mullah, or the lady who does the church flowers.

The Borough issues various so-called ‘Operational Permits’ one of which is for ‘Clergy’ who are defined as ‘…clergy or church workers of any denomination who need to park within a zone whilst on church business and who do not have access to parking on church grounds or other private parking.’ And the charge for a year’s parking permit for these ‘church workers’ in any of the Borough’s 27 parking zones is a big, fat zero. So whether you are going shopping, visiting Hampton Court, taking in Kew, or watching the rugby at Twickenham, and would like to park for nowt, all you need to do is act pious, and look the part. Application forms for a Clergy Permit can be downloaded here.

According to Councillor Serge Lourie. leader of the council at Richmond, the proposed CO2 tax “….is about showing real leadership – local government has an increasingly pivotal role to play, with our communities, in this and other important issues. We must continue to think global but act local. We believe that there would be a 15 per cent cut in emissions if everybody bought a car one band lower than they have at present.” If you would like to ask Cllr Lourie if he intends to take his own advice, and buy a smaller car, why not email him at cllr.slourie@richmond.gov.uk.

Cecil is carefully positioned for a perfect interior shot

Those of you who have seen our video road tests may have wondered how we manage to squeeze all those stunning images into such a small window on your computer. In the early days we used to shoot everything in high definition then spend hours compressing it into flash format so that it would all fit into a broadband pipe. But that was too time consuming so now it’s all shot on a miniature film set using a virtual ‘camerman’ which can be positioned at will according to the shot we need. The attached image shows the film director positioning Cecil (the ‘cameraman’) in just the right place to shoot the interior of the new Skoda Roomster.

HA managers puzzled by motorway slip road.

The Highways Agency has ordered a number of Mitsubishi Grandis MPVs to transport ‘management’ to the scene of an incident. The police were delighted to learn that civil service managers will soon be on hand to give advice. Indeed, one senior traffic officer when given the news, said “Great!”

Back-seat driving kit for new Kia Carens

In preparation for the launch of its new Carens, Kia has published the results of a survey that examined to what extent children’s behaviour in a car contributes to drivers’ stress levels. No prizes (although Terms and Conditions apply) for guessing the outcome, but one of the methods suggested by Kia to relieve stress is: ‘Swap seating arrangements around. Break with convention and consider sitting in the back with your children’.

Who needs speed cameras?

According to the RAC Foundation, 2.4 million holes are dug in Britain’s roads every year. It uses this figure in support of its campaign for better co-ordination of road works, so that, for example, if BT digs a hole in the road, Thames Water can at the same time fix a leak, which it is bound to find, and so on. A holistic approach, you might say. Since our total UK road network measures roughly 240,000 miles, that means, in any one year, ten holes are dug for every mile of road. From this it follows that if you drive 10,000 miles a year, in the course of 12 months you will encounter 100,000 roadworks, or 8,333 per month, or 378 for every working day, or in distance terms, roughly ten per mile. So if you’ve ever wondered why every roadwork in the country was on your way to work, now you know. I have the statistics to prove it.

Sniffpetrol's Hyundai Europa

I see sniffpetrol is lampooning the new Lotus Europa S Coupe, and to make their point have given the car a Pythonesque makeover. Or could it be that they’ve mistakenly uploaded a scoop shot of the next Hyundai Coupe? Anyway, I don’t agree with them; go here to find out what I think.

Heston Services in 1842

I gather the Home Secretary is wondering what to do with a few hundred surplus convicts. Apparently he’s looking for an uninviting building with draughty corridors, smelly toilets, inadequate parking for visitors, and staff trained to serve crap food to a disgruntled and captive audience. I wonder if he’s considered Heston Services?

Sic Transit

The new Ford Transit has been voted ‘Van of the Year’ by a huge jury of international motor journalists. The jury comprised no less than 19 journos, and the bloke from Latvia was so impressed, I believe he voted twice. The award was collected on 19 September, which I guess coincided with the publication date of the January edition of What Van? There’s nothing wrong with being first with the news: after all, the Transit is the 2007 Van of the Year. And you thought that Christmas cards were in the shops early this year.