Thank you to the reader who alerted me to the breaking news on urinal cakes. These vital accessories, fitted in men’s toilets in American bars and restaurants are, as far as I can work out, activated by a stream of urine at which point the ‘cake’ issues a verbal warning on the dangers of drink-driving.
The sermon begins, “Hey there, big guy. Having a few drinks? Listen up. Think you’ve had a few too many? Then it’s time to call a cab or ask a sober friend for a ride home…”
Admirable advice. However, it brings to mind a warning I saw in a public toilet, emblazoned across the device which produces a never-ending loop of towel. The warning read, “Do not insert head in towel loop”. Until that moment, I hadn’t dreamt of doing any such thing – but once warned in such stern terms, the notion became irrestistible. WHY shouldn’t I insert my head in the towel loop? What could go wrong? It can’t be THAT dangerous, surely?
There’s a point at which nannying advice has the opposite effect from that intended. I think that point is surely reached when you’re given advice by something you are, at that moment, pissing on?
Urin trouble
I think the inspiration for the talking bog came from the Maestro. I seem to recall that in their latter years, a mechanised voice issued stern alarums when something was amiss. (”Urin trouble!”) Moreover, most other cars on the road could piss all over them.
Graham Whyte | 08 Mar 07 - 12:49I wouldn’t mind betting that most of these W/C urinal cakes have at some time been involved in serious two-way conversations with their inebriated punters!
Speaking of closets, beware the towel dispenser nanny…. For the next week or two I won’t be able to shake off the bizarre mental image of Charis with her head stuck in a retracted towel loop!!
AlfaMartini | 23 Mar 07 - 18:16