My cat thinks in binary code: Tuna. Not Tuna. So while we communicate well on a certain level, our recent conversation about the proposed introduction of intelligent road studs was a bit limited. For those who’ve missed this story in the press, these ‘studs’ are a new sort of cats’ eyes with built-in cameras to take pictures of speeding motorists.
We’ve always been told that ‘safety cameras’ are there to reduce accidents, not to generate income from motorists. Of course they are. And no doubt these road-level ‘studs’, too, will be highly visible as a warning to speeding drivers. Perhaps they’ll be a slightly paler grey than the surrounding Tarmac, or something.
However, the whole scheme sounds implausible for a different reason. Anyone who has ever met a cat will realise that the term cats’ eyes is itself a misnomer. There is no way on earth that cats would agree to sit in those little tunnels under the road, ready to pop their heads up when they hear an approaching car. “They use dogs,” agreed my cat through a mouthful of John West’s best. Which is a relief; as the introduction of intelligent dogs’ eyes hardly seems feasible.
The offending felines are described here….
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/02/07/nspeed07.xml
“How to spot a loser”….
AlfaMartini | 16 Feb 07 - 13:07Yes, you obviously know your felines and your canines Charis!!
Speaking of John West’s Best I currently have two cats in the family.
The eldest is a noisy blue Burmese which we inherited from friends who had recovered her from the street but then had to return to Sweden very suddenly, and the youngest is a very sweet and intelligent brindled bronze tabby which was presented to us by local children when she was less than a hand-span in length (how could we resist).
Both are very communicative, and both are female. However although they are both “foodies” and readily squabble over and rapidly devour scraps of fresh seafood, or canned fish (cat food - Whiskas etc) dedicated to the pet food industry, they always turn up their noses and walk away from John West or any other manufacturer’s canned Salmon / Tuna / Pilchard etc.
This tells me that they are:
a: Providing evidence to support the belief that canned products for human consumption are so heavily laced with preservatives and flavouring additives etc that they are basically unfit for consumption - period ; or….
b: The females of any species are sufficiently fickle that they don’t really know what they want!!
On that note I think I’ll run for cover and hope that Charis doesn’t re-visit this blog!
AlfaMartini | 20 Feb 07 - 18:14Was your cat by any chance in a former life a Toyota Yaris driver? They also have binary minds: 25 mph. 24 mph.
Graham Whyte | 08 Mar 07 - 13:03I should like to correct AlfaMartini: there is no such thing as ‘females of any species’. Female is a species all of its own.
Graham Whyte | 08 Mar 07 - 13:10You’re quite right Graham, and I stand corrected.
Lets just hope that C.W. agrees….
AlfaMartini | 30 Mar 07 - 18:53