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| And you thought it was in Surrey |
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Subaru has just launched what it calls its S Drive programme to encourage dealers to clue up on its products and to ‘go that extra mile’.
Whoever wrote the copy on the Subaru web pages should also ‘go that extra mile’ and actually proof-read what they’ve written.
For example, a link on the home page, under a heading ‘NEWS & PRESS’ reads: ‘Visit our stand at the Ordanance Survey Show. Clicking through reveals the message: ‘Join us for our first visit to the Ordanance Survey outdoor show’, even though right alongside the copy there is an Ordnance Survey logo. The spelling must look different.
In the next sentence, the author of the piece points out that the Subaru stand at the show will have ‘….a range of accessories to compliment your active lifestyle’.
And according to another entry, the London to Paris cycle race will start from Hampton Court, which we are informed is in Kent. I suppose that’s one way of getting people to go that extra mile.
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I thought I’d hit on something the other day when I saw in a technical paper that Ferrari had committed to reducing its carbon footprint.
Was the company intending to launch a ScuderEco model, I wondered, or an Environzo? The word photovoltaic was mentioned, so I began to think solar power. A hybrid, maybe, the F430 Solari, juiced up by the currant bun? (Or should that be current bun?)
Then I read the article properly. Apparently solar panels have been fitted to the roof of Ferrari’s Engine Mechanical Machining facility at Maranello. Manufactured by Mitsubishi, the photovoltaic system will substantially reduce the engine plant’s environmental impact. I’m glad about that. Given the carbon offset created by the solar panels, I needn’t worry the next time I have to test a Ferrari.
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Buy one of these. The way things are going, it could soon become a collector’s item.
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We’ve been off air for a while. There was dry rot or something in the blogging software, so we had to sit on our hands, and keep our thoughts to ourselves.
But we’re back now, or at least I am, and I thought I would rekindle the embers of our virtual relationship by telling you about the floods.
Notwithstanding the fact that I live on top of the North Downs, the road into our village is frequently flooded to a considerable depth. There is a dip between some fields that slope towards the road, and after heavy rain, it’s like living on the shores of the Ganges. And so it was last week. Several feet of water, floating logs, and water buffalo.
It doesn’t bother me; I drive a Range Rover, so three feet of water is but a mere puddle. But I get just as stranded, just as cut off from the outside world as if I were in a G-Whiz, and all because of the muppets who drive right up to the water before they notice it’s there. Then instead of simply turning round, they get out of their cars and huddle in perplexed groups like the tribe of Israel contemplating the Red Sea. Usually there’s one in wellies who will wade in up to his ankles and proclaim the water wet. Meanwhile, the road is utterly blocked, supplies are cut off, and the Red Cross is mustered.
It happens at least once a month, yet to most of our doddering village motorists it always comes as a surprise, and they are no better equipped to deal with it now than they were when De Dion first met Bouton.
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This image is from a new SEAT cinema commercial. I won’t bore you with the puerile plot, but the punch line is a woman driving off into the distance having outwitted a number of male drivers – hence the finger.
Motor journalists are supposed to exercise a duty of care and not write or say anything that is likely to encourage reckless or belligerent driving. It seems that SEAT, at least, does not consider itself to be subject to the same common-sense restraint.
Moreover, the gesture exemplifies the attitude seemingly prevalent among certain classes of young, female drivers who seem to regard any male driver, and for that matter, each other, not as fellow road-users, but as targets, to be outwitted in a show of belligerent driving that reveals inexperience rather than skill.
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If you run a new-car dealership this will make your eyes water. According to Automotive News, a GM dealership is Moscow is selling between 600 and 900 cars a MONTH. The UK average is 500 cars a year.
And apparently the profits are good, too. A UK dealer makes around 1 per cent on each new car, whereas their Russian counterparts regularly make between 3.5 and 4 per cent. It appears that Russian buyers are suckers for extras, which deliver a higher profit than the cars themselves. BMW has understood this principle from Day One.
The Russian dealers also make a decent margin on servicing, and many service departments stay open until 9 0’clock every evening, just to cope with the level of business. The Genser GM dealership – the 900 cars a month dealership – employs 200 people in its service department, which handles up to 180 cars a day.
When told by Automotive News of the average levels of sales in the UK, and the profit margins, Natalyia Ignatova, Sales Department Director of Genser, said: “You call that a business?”
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A friend of mine tried to buy some brake spares for his middle-aged Citroen. The car’s about eight years’ old and so he went to his local ‘continental’ car spares outlet. They sold him the parts he needed and assured him they were correct for his particular make and model of car.
Except they weren’t - although he didn’t discover this until he’d stripped down the brakes on his car and rendered it un-driveable. So he walked back to the shop, where he was told the correct bits were on ‘back order’, and sorry about the mistake.
A week later, the shop rang him to say the parts were in. As they were, but not the correct bits. To cut an even longer story short, my friend eventually finished up at a breaker’s yard (or whatever they are nowadays called) and found precisely the bits he needed. Total time: 12 days.
His car obviously isn’t old enough. I also need a few small parts for my car, but mine is 61 years’ old: a 1947 MG. A quick flick through an online catalogue, a short ‘phone call, and next day the bits arrived. Total time: 18 hours.
I am not sure if that’s a triumph for the Internet, or for the classic-car business. Either way, it didn’t drive me spare.
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I was surfing through some local government websites yesterday, looking for details of parking-fine revenues, when I came across this, and I quote:
‘From March 31st this year councils across England were empowered to use CCTV camera images to enforce parking fines. Prior to this ruling, parking tickets were only valid if placed on the vehicle or handed to the driver in person. The new regulations stipulate that CCTV cameras can be used only in areas where it is too “difficult or sensitive” for an attendant to operate, such as a fast-flowing road or a busy junction. Now, fines can be issued through the post up to 14 days after the alleged offence occurred.’
This is news to me, and I guess to most of you, too. So before you next dart into the newsagents or offy, don’t simply scan the vicinity for wardens – look up, and if you can see a camera, it can see you.
Check out the site in question for yourself: you will find it here. Has anyone been caught this way?
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What do you do when you are locked out of a press car, miles from home, and the press car contains your entire life-support system - ‘phone, wallet, specs, money, etc. etc?
I thanked my lucky stars. I thanked them that my partner was locked out with me, and in her handbag, along with the usual bottle jack, creosote (makes her look sun-tanned), Polyfilla (cheaper than Max Factor), torque wrench, and general landfill material, was a ‘phone. And with that ‘phone I called an Audi press officer (thank you J) who gave me the number of Audi/Volkswagen rescue.
No waiting. No “You are number sixteen in a queue”. No Mozart for broken-down motorists. Just the words you want to hear: “How can I help?” Ten minutes later, I got a call from a mobile technician: “I will be with you in half an hour.” And he was.
I won’t tell you how he retrieved the keys, except that the process was slick, caused no damage, and took fewer than ten minutes. In future, I shall always lock myself out of an Audi.
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For sale: 1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf. Only 15 km. Only first gear and reverse used. Never driven hard. Original tyres. Original brakes. Original fuel and oil. Only 1 driver. I am selling it because I want to buy a car with better fuel consumption. Please see photo.
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