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Tesla Store in Knightsbridge, as Talulah and Elon meet and greet

Tesla Motors held a launch party at the new London Store in Knightsbridge last night. Top of the guestlist was company chief Elon Musk, who flew in specially for the event.

“He’s very good looking,” whispered my missus, politely. Annoyingly, I have to agree. He’s also made his millions many times over thanks to an internet business, and since branched out into electric sports cars and space rockets. Somewhere in his schedule he’s even found time to date young British movie actress Talulah Riley. Not bad going for a 37-year old.

“The US Department of Energy has just approved a loan to us of some half a billion dollars. Which was nice of them…” deadpanned Elon, to cheers from the throng. Not shy of his public profile, it was a typical statement from this occasionally controversial figure. Detractors have bashed Tesla from day one, arguing that Musk is a crazed egomaniac running a Ponzi scheme building this century’s Tucker Torpedo. It’s nonsense – the cars exist, the stores exist. Those grapes sour enough?

Conversely, I think Musk’s style and flamboyance are sorely needed to create interest in electric cars, which let’s face it are generally pretty uninspiring. We drove the Roadster last year, and as the Tesla rep handed me the keys, his words stuck with me: “You’ll enjoy this, it’s really a blast to drive.” Boyish glee pervades this company. And that’s a good thing.

I do sympathise with Charis’ blog Speechless or clueless?

Regular readers may recall I’ve had issues with Hertz in the past but in these budget-conscious times, I was tempted into “giving them another go” by a promotion on the .co.uk site which promises a 20% discount on rentals booked 30 days in advance.

I checked the prices prior to booking my airline tickets and the prices looked good. I returned to the site a week later (still well ahead of the 30-day cut-off) and went through the identical process but instead of the keen prices, I got the following message:

Not all requirements for the Rate Code - LITE requested have been met. We have removed the Rate Code from your request to provide you with the best rate returned. If you would still like to take advantage of the Rate Code, please refer to the offer details to meet all necessary requirements. [DRX142]

After trying again several times to try to work out what I’d done wrong, I filled in a query form since I couldn’t find a telephone number to ring. I was promised a reply within 2 working days. 1 week later - nothing.

My wife then found a telephone number on the Hertz.com website. The customer service chap at first told me that the promotion had ended! I pointed out that it was still being displayed on the website and then he investigated further and came up with the following explanation:

“It probably means that the particular location’s office has removed itself from the promotion…”

I can accept that the fine print in the terms and conditions covers this possibility, but the complete lack of clarity in the rate code message is in itself a customer services disaster. The absence of a ‘call me’ facility on the website which instead features innumerable FAQs is a also a failing and then the lack of contact within the stated 2 working days is abysmal.

To top this off with a customer services representative who doesn’t even know whether the promotion is running…..

Book with Hertz again? No.

Recommend to a friend? No.

Blog about the miserable service? Yes.

Hertz.co.uk - FAIL

If you are able to read a blog (which clearly you are), you must have a rough grasp of both IT and the English language. Do, please, congratulate yourself – because this is a very rare combination of skills. So rare, in fact, that the Human Resources department at my Internet Service Provider had a tough choice to make. “Do we employ someone who understands the Internet? Or do we employ someone who can make themselves understood by another human being?” Hmm. Tricky.

They went for the first option and hence, today, I received this helpful advice by email. Well, it might be advice. For all I know, it might be a warning. Or a birthday card, or something. It reads as follows…

“The bouncedrop function behaves in a similar fashion to the bounce and fbounce, when the bounedrop action sends an email it will not deliver the original message from the sender as where the bounce and fbounce will still allow the message into the inbox.”

My response was: Great! / Oh no! / Thank you! (delete as appropriate)

I seldom listen to the radio when I’m driving, but on a really long journey I might break the silence with a few bars of Marriage of Figaro. But I can’t sing to save my life, so I eventually put on a Mozart CD instead.

Mozart was a genius, and few have since been equal to this inspired tunesmith. However, this generation has a near equal – the trumpeter Wynton Marsalis - whose eclectic performances range from classic baroque to home-spun jazz compositions from his own prolific pen. He’s not a bad poet, either, and his latest album ‘He and She’ explores in a myriad of jazz forms, the lines and themes of his poem of the same name.

He reads snatches of the poem throughout the recording, which concludes with the whole piece as a single track. Marsalis has a mellifluous, hominy grit voice that sounds for all the world like that of the big coloured guy that used to wander about in an overcoat and a floppy cap telling us in a poetic manner why we should bank at Barclay’s. (I think).

Somebody bought me the He & She album as a birthday present (I am six and a quarter, today, June 12) and I would love to play you the whole thing. However, the best I can do is point you at this YouTube trailer and invite you to taste a morsel of the Marsalis genius.

You will hear only a snatch of the poem, and miss one of the best bits: “One plus one make two, Like you and me before becoming we.” I wish I could write like that.